I'm as surprised as anybody. I've dabbled in writing different iterations of a book over the years. I've written fiction, I've written poetry, but the thing I've always wanted to write was a "spiritual memoir" of sorts. A roadmap of my origins, journey, and where I am today. 

But I've always come back to the central question: Why does anybody want to read this? 

That fear of irrelevance has stopped me from writing what I've wanted to write for the better part of a decade. I've always been someone who has words in my soul. Things that I just can't verbalize, but have to write down. 

And so a few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk and I had an epiphany. 

I'm going to write a book for me. Not to sell a ton of copies on Amazon. Not to get noticed. I'm going to write a book so that I can unpack and finally get my entire story out. I don't often even know what I think until I write it, so honestly this is going to be incredibly therapeutic for me (and I've already told my therapist I'm writing it, and he's on board, so there's no turning back now.) 

I'm also writing it for my girls. For them to have some sort of document of their dad. Something that, long after I'm gone, they can hold in their hands and point to and say, "this is who my dad was. This is why he did the things he did, and this is how fiercely he loved us." 

It's going to take a while. I'm not sure when it will be done. But when it is, I'll make sure and link to it here. 

I hope that you read it. But if you don't, that's cool. 

Like I said, I'm mostly writing it for me.