What if

Where on earth do we even begin? How can we start a conversation about what happened last Friday? I don’t know how to even begin to have that conversation, or honestly, what even needs to be said. I have been reflecting and thinking about last week, and felt like the only way to process it is to just put it down in words.

The following may not be cohesive, or make any sense. It’s more of a “brain dump,” but one that is needed on my part.

I’m not a politician. I have very little interest in politics. I think it eats up a lot of time that could be better spent making a real difference in the world. That being said, can we finally agree that it is time to have a SERIOUS conversation about gun violence in America?

I’m neither pro-gun, or anti-gun. I believe in the 2nd amendment. I do think guns ought to be more difficult to obtain, and certain types of guns out to be outlawed. I think to not at least have a discussion about this is foolish, dangerous, and irresponsible.

Evil is real. We can all agree on that. We can all come behind the notion that walking into an Elementary school, and gunning down children is evil. No way around it. You can’t justify it, explain it, rationalize it, or say anything about it, other than that it is pure evil.

I have wrestled for a long time with the idea of evil. If God is in control, why is there evil? If God is this loving, merciful, gracious God, then how on earth do things like Newton, CT happen? And to be honest with you, for a long time (more recently than I’d like to admit) I began to question God’s mercy, grace, and love. They can’t be real. They can’t be legitimate.

Over the last several years, I’ve begun to understand some things about God. Things that would have scared me to death to publicly admit before. Things that I had never said out loud, because to my heart, they were complete blasphemy.

What if there is God, and then a bunch of gods? What if God, was at war with these other gods constantly? What if, when Jesus prayed “your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven” he was implying that there are things that happen in this world, that are NOT the will of God? Could it be possible that the notion of “sovereignty” as we understand it is incorrect? Maybe God isn’t moving us around like pieces on a chess board. Maybe things are a lot more fluid and open than that. Could it be possible that God is just as broken up and torn apart about all of this as we are? That he’s not “punishing us,” as some politicians and conservative leaders would have you believe, but that he is grieving along with those families? I think so.

God weeps when children die.

I know I’ve said this before, and at risk of sounding like a broken record, I’ll say it again: Adam Lanza was an image bearer of God, just like you and I. Granted, this is much harder to fathom, since the atrocities that he committed were so heinous. It is easier to view him as a monster, a scum, pure evil, and someone who doesn’t deserve to live.

Please don’t make that mistake.

What if God grieved over the death of Adam Lanza as well? What if it broke his heart to see a human being that he created, and loved, take his own life? Is it possible that when Paul wrote the following words, that they were true?


“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

I don’t really care about your politics, views on mortality, guns, mental health, or anything else. Whether you think we should outlaw guns, or give them to everyone. Can we at least agree on some things? Evil is real. The dark kingdom is alive and well. God is at war with the gods of this world. He weeps over the sin of his creation.

But most importantly, in the end, when all is said and done, God wins.

Fight the dark kingdom